Reconnecting to what's most important

In my line of work as a leadership coach, nearly all of my clients are trying to sculpt their lives and work to encompass more of what's most important to them. For some, it's letting go of high salaries and prestigous titles to do work that really matters while finding time for relationships and community. For others it's learning to hold one's center when the people they love lash out at them. For me, the journey has been letting go of many things...moving far away from friends, family, a house I loved and all the "stuff" I had acquired over the years to follow my heart with a new relationship. How ironic to reconnect by letting go. But I've learned that sometimes that's just the way it is.

A friend of mine used to tell a story about a kayaking buddy who tipped over and who's safety line became entangled around a rock. He hung on desperately even as his companions on shore yelled for him to let go. The water was calmer down river where they could more easily get him to shore. But he continued to hang on, taking a rush of water in the face until he drowned. My friend referred to this as "the safety paradox"--that we're most afraid to do that which we most need to do. I have no idea whether the kayaking story is true but the safety paradox makes absolute sense to me. In my own life I've seen time after time how the more I hang on to what I think I need, the more what I really need eludes me.

For years I resisted the thought of moving to a new place, far from what I thought I needed. And yet my move from Michigan to Washington has brought a new depth of relationship to my life, not only romantically but with the friends and family who have stuck with me even though I'm far away. I'm learning to face my demons that want to hang on to all the stuff, the house and a way of life that is part of the past not of the future. I'm not completely home free but I've come along way.

The trials and tribulations I've faced in my own life this last year, the ones my clients have faced and the ones the world has faced as we cascaded through a global economic meltdown has made me think about what's really important in life in a way I haven't done before. Is our way of working and living in modern society really bringing us true prosperity? Not just in financial terms but in ways that are joyful, healthy and sustainable? In the richest country in the world and the most technologically advanced time in history, statistics show that we are not a joyful, healthy lot. Record numbers of people are on anxiety and anti-depression medication including children. The incidents of diabetes and ADHD is increasing at an alarming rate. How do we as individuals begin to shift the dynamic-in our own lives as well as on a broader scale? How can we join together to support each other in our quest for creating a world and life that supports what we most long for?